I always make a big deal about turning a year older usually right before my birthday. Ever since I was about to turn 20, I’ve always been like, “Shit I can’t believe I’m turning a year older. SO FREAKING OLD.” Then my birthday comes, and I feel the same. Sometimes it frustrates me because I want to be older in terms of outlook in life, but it seems like I’m taking a step back. Sure I’ve graduated university and currently but inside there’s major lack of maturity. The good old carefree days are gone and as much as I want to apply my carefree manner to my future I’m having a hard time because the future is kinda freaky.
I recently watched this Korean film, Hello Schoolgirl, and there’s a scene in particular which resonated with me so well. I’m not scared of turning older, not scared of the experiences, it’s the fact that adults are faced with so many things at a time especially when it’s not positive, is something I don’t look forward to.
By the time I write my next post I’ve probably turned 22 already, yet still feel the same. I hope my 22nd year gives me a whole lot more perspective on what’s to come, and be less afraid.