1. Make peace with your parents. Whether you finally recognize that they actually have your best interests in mind or you forgive them for being flawed human beings, you cant happily enter adulthood with that familial brand of resentment. 2. Kiss someone you think is out of your league; kiss models and med students and entrepreneurs with part-time lives in Dubai and dont worry about if theyre going to call you afterward. 3. Minimize your passivity.
4. Work a service job to gain some understanding of how tipping works, how to keep your cool around assholes, how a few kind words can change someones day.
5. Recognize freedom as a 5:30 a.m. trip to the diner with a bunch of strangers youve just met. 6. Try not to beat yourself up over having obtained a useless Bachelors Degree. Debt is hell, and things didnt pan out quite like you expected, but you did get to go to college, and having a degree isnt the worst thing in the world to have. We will figure this mess out, I think, probably; the point is youre not worth less just because there hasnt been an immediate pay off for going to school. Be patient, work with what you have, and remember that a lot of us are in this together. 7. If youre employed in any capacity, open a savings account. You never know when you might be unemployed or in desperate need of getting away for a few days. Even $10 a week is $520 more a year than you wouldve had otherwise. 8. Make a habit of going outside, enjoying the light, relearning your friends, forgetting the internet.
9. Go on a 4-day, brunch-fueled bender.
10. Start a relationship with your crush by telling them that you want them. Directly. Like, look them in the face and say it to them. Say, I want you. I want to be with you.
11. Learn to say no to yourself. Dont keep wearing high heels if you hate them; dont keep smoking if youre disgusted by the way you smell the morning after; stop wasting entire days on your couch if youre going to complain about missing the sun.
12. Take time to revisit the places that made you who you are: the apartment you grew up in, your middle school, your hometown. These places may or may not be here forever; you definitely wont be.
13. Find a hobby that makes being alone feel lovely and empowering and like something to look forward to.
14. Think you know yourself until you meet someone better than you. 15. Forget who you are, what your priorities are, and how a person should be.
16. Identify your fears and instead of letting them dictate your every move, find and talk to people who have overcome them. Dont settle for experiencing .000002% of what the world has to offer because youre afraid of getting on a plane.
17. Make a habit of cleaning up and letting go. Just because it fit at one point doesnt mean you need to keep it forever whether it is your favorite pair of pants or your ex.
18. Stop hating yourself.
19. Go out and watch that movie, read that book, listen to that band you already lied about watching, reading, listening to. 20. Take advantage of health insurance while you have it. 21. Make a habit of telling people how you feel, whether it means writing a gushing fan-girl email to someone whose work you love or telling your boss why you deserve a raise.
22. Date someone who says, I love you first.
23. Leave the country under the premise of finding yourself. This will be unsuccessful. Places do not change people. Instead, do a lot of solo drinking, read a lot of books, have sex in dirty hostels, and come home when you start to miss it. 24. Suck it up and buy a Macbook Pro. 25. Quit that job thats making you miserable, end the relationship that makes you act like a lunatic, lose the friend whose sole purpose in life is making you feel like youre perpetually on the verge of vomiting. Youre young, youre resilient, there are other jobs and relationships and friends if youre patient and open.
By January Nelson