It frustrates me how the words and phrases I formulate in my head to write don’t seem to put itself together when I start to blog. It usually leads to me being even more frustrated and just scrap and don’t post the entry altogether. I’m trying to say something and it’s going to make no sense, but here goes..
After watching The Vow last night it made me realize the process of forgetting and remembering guys. When I watch a love story or a romantic movie I usually tend to associate the lead male to the current guy I like. It’s been a while since I watched one and the last time I did my feelings were for a different guy. Since that chapter has already closed it feels weird that I’m thinking about this other guy. It feels weird. Everything is weird. Weird weird weird. I like too many guys.
Detached. That’s what it usually is for me. I get scared to get too close, and I overthink things (WHAT’S NEW) and suddenly.. just as I’m slowly trying to wiggle myself in it gets taken away in an instant. But what will happen when I give all of me? It’s too scary. I guess for now I’d rather feel the ever familiar bitterness of it and ride the sick cycle carousel.
I’m a romantic at heart, I just have my own ways of showing them. I don’t pretend not to be one, I just don’t want to feel like everything’s so gooey good because it will start making me doubt things. Goodness, that line is making me such a cynic. I don’t want to be a cynic. Cynical romantic? Ew. Labels are even more annoying.
Whatever, another one of those late night rambles. This blog is starting to turn personal..