2019 in a (long) Jiffy

Hello, it’s August 1 of the year 2019! So much has happened this year, yet I still feel dumbstruck that’s it’s already August.

I wish I could stop talking about time whenever I write in this blog, but it’s just something that can’t be helped. I wish blogging were more in the list of things I would like to do frequently, but it’s just something that can’t be helped. I wish I knew all the answers to life’s questions at 31, but it’s just something that can’t be helped. If this blog were to be around in 10 years time, I bet I still wouldn’t have the answers.

Postgraduate Diploma: Done!

The first half of the year was crazy in more ways than one. After coming back from a long Christmas and New Year vacation back home in Jakarta and a bit in Singapore, I was not ready to face my 2nd semester. It meant a 2-3 month practice teaching in a public night high school after work, and just more academic weight on my shoulder. Week by week I kept wondering what made me do further studies but come May, I survived and graduated, culminating the weird and confusing academic year. Was it fulfilling? Yes. Did it give me answers to life? No.

We’re done!!

What’s next for me? Honestly with recent developments and the most grueling Mercury Retrograde? I don’t even know anymore.

31st Birthday

I can’t even remember what I did on the day of my birthday anymore. I was at work because it was a weekday. Since my birthday and graduation were just a week apart, I had a small celebration where I gathered my closest friends and family in one of the nice coastline housing areas in Cebu, complete with good food and good company. It was a good day, but I have no cheesy reflections. I must be getting old.

West Coast Trip

After the crazy first half of the year, we traveled to the West Coast—a first time for me! I think my mental health also fed off my excitement because I did not experience any pre/during/post long-haul flight anxiety and panic, and it felt like such a blessing to be able to feel that way.

Lake Tahoe was everything and more

New York and the East Coast was a blast, and I wanted to know if the West Coast could top that. Newsflash—I can’t even say anymore, because it was definitely another experience that cannot be compared. California has a different charm and I could actually see myself living there(!!!!), Las Vegas was crazy that just made me go “What the fuck?” the whole time, and Taipei was quick yet great, thanks to longtime friends.

Work & Everything Else

Work is what keeps me sane on most days. I’ve immersed myself so much into it that I lost my social life for a while. After getting back from California, I definitely made up for lost time and suddenly my social calendar has been flourishing the past few weeks. It’s crazy to think that I’ve been in Cebu for 7 years, when I said I’d stay for 2 and consider what I’d do after. Cebu still gives me the happiness, it’s crazy and I don’t even know why.

I said hey, what’s going on

Fuckin’ hell, it’s already September. Can you believe?! I’ve come to the point where I don’t know what to write about anymore, that even my other blog is currently enjoying an annual drought. Usually I don’t let more than 6 months pass without publishing an entry but it just couldn’t be help. Was I that busy this year? I certainly still had time to watch Terrace House and a bunch of Korean dramas, so I can’t really say that I was too busy to write in here. I guess the need to formulate a proper blog post kind of lost its charm on me and updates result into bite-sized micro social media posts in the form of Instagram stories or Twitter updates. I don’t even post that much on Facebook anymore.

Nowadays I feel like I’m chasing something with no definite destination. Is this how 30s feel like? Isn’t one supposed to have things figured out by now? 20s was a long, winding road full of reckless pursuits and bad decisions that I guess I’m trying to make up one way or another? I know nothing’s perfect, but is it wrong to hope for things to start falling into place in this third decade? Or am I overthinking everything again like I always do? Too many questions, hardly any answers. That’s my life.

To be honest, I didn’t think I was going to survive. Yes, it is as dramatic as it looks and I am actually very serious about it. But somehow life keeps surprising me and letting me know that it’s actually on my side, despite the many instances where I feel like it never is; and that’s good enough for me.

The Sunday Currently, v28

Hello and happy first day of October! It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these. Time flies by pretty fast that I just realized the last one was a good 5 months ago.

FEELING
Pretty okay! The weekend wasn’t exactly topnotch because I had to work yesterday and didn’t get to have any Saturday plans but it wasn’t the worst. I spent the night at a friend’s place and today was all about lazing around and watching movies with my sister.

WATCHING/LISTENING

This semi-stripped down version of Too Good At Goodbyes by Sam Smith. It’s a solid new single.

I’m also looking at my last TSC and I just wanted to give an update: ever since Weightlifting Fairy and Strong Woman Do Bong Soon, I’ve seen quite a number of K-dramas after that. Love in the Moonlight, Fight My Way, My Secret Romance, and She Was Pretty. Pretty crazy, to be honest. I’ve always capped myself at 1 K-drama per year and I was just on a roll.

FEELING
I’m having a bit of a stiff neck that’s annoying me. Otherwise everything’s been okay. Job ok. Friendships ok. Family ok. Love life, hmmm idk. Mental state will always be in discussion.

EATING
Nothing currently but there’s a “just-finished” bag of Lay’s beside me here from this afternoon.

HOPING
Honestly? Hoping for a lot of things. I have a few trips lined up in the weeks to come and I just hope everything’s great. As usual, anticipatory anxiety and its ugly head continuous to rear down on me and the only way I can let it go or at least keep from persisting is to ride it out.

THINKING
About a blossoming friendship that I hope won’t fade away as time passes. The last few years of your 20s are always the times where you keep friends instead of finding them but once in a while there’s always that one gem that shows up.

How to NOT succumb to Bad Vibes

This week has been particularly weird, in an emotional sense. I don’t know if it’s the mix of quitting rice for the 2nd week and going towards a low-carb high-fat diet that’s messing with my system, happenings that either piss me off, or make me want to cry. These are the usual highs and lows of everyday and worklife and (the lack of) adulting that’s always messing with me. So how do I deal?

I compiled a list of things that I usually do or indulge in so that I don’t fall into the deep well of emotional negativity, a.k.a the O.A. life, or as how our close-minded relatives refer to bouts of unwarranted sadness.

  1. Playing SimCity Buildit. Secret’s out, I’ve been playing this game since late 2014 and have not stopped since. There’s something about mindlessly building a city, fulfilling city needs, and playing a virtual God that really made me commit to this one. With the introduction of groups and social trading (of goods) I’ve also become part of a small community of players that I talk to each day.
  2. The good old K-drama. In addition to being a feast on the eyes, it just takes you to a good place. It’s another realm of first world goodness mixed with familiar values that just draws you in. This year alone I’ve gone through 4 of them. It’s all in my life log.
  3. Window shopping online, clicking “add to cart” on all my wants with the satisfaction of the act of being a consumeristic hoe, then closing the whole window and never looking back. Sometimes I do succumb to the Buy Now button but still call it a victory because I could have done worse (I KNOW THIS IS THE WORST LOGIC OK). Thanks but no thanks, Glossier.
  4. My dog Koko contributes to a huge part of a stress-free life. I don’t know what I’d do without her quirks and smarts that I still find so amusing a year into her arrival to our household.
  5. Filling up my bullet journal in the attempts to make my life seem so adult and organized.
  6. Buying things spontaneously when I’m at the mall. I hate this, but it’s in this list.
  7. Mango Cheese Snow in Snow Shack never fails to lift up my spirits.
  8. Terrace House that made me buy a VPN subscription ffs so I could keep up with episodes in Japan. Also I’ve been hanging out a lot in the Terrace House subreddit it might be a little unhealthy.
  9. Dreaming about upcoming travels that have been planned, and the euphoria I feel when my money goes to something that’s totally millenial—travel.
  10. Reading astrology-related things, the best entertainment value there is.

As much as I’d love to just write and write about things that make me happy, I’ve decided to keeping it to a minimum of a recent 10 so that next time I find more weird things that satisfy my vibes channel. I didn’t even mention cliche ones like, going to the beach, hanging out with [insert name here], etc etc. What’s the point of me writing this when it’s just things the entire population likes to do?

Tonsillectomy: A 2 Year Reflection

In July of 2015 I made the decision to finally have my tonsils out. I remember it was an emotionally tough time but I figured it was for the best. Throughout that year I had been severely hit with bouts of tonsilitis that were even more frequent than usual (I used to get it at least once every 2 months), and I realized it didn’t feel right anymore. I may have been used to getting it, but never those that limited my day to day activities or even be admitted to the hospital!

To cut the story short, here I am 2 years later, tonsil free and couldn’t have been more thankful and relieved that I made that decision.

I still get the remnants of mental reflex though. Whenever I eat or drink something sweet I always try to feel my tonsils in case they flare up or swell. I don’t think I’ll truly ever get over that. Something 27 years of habitual actions can never fix.

To this day it is one of the best possible decisions I have ever made in my life. No more tonsillitis, no more flared up throat. The post-op pain that lasted for nearly a month was worth a lifetime of no more agony, I can say. Haha. Happy 2 years to my free throat!