I think I need a big fat one. Don’t get me wrong. I love Jakarta, I really do. It’s my second home.. it’s where I had a lot of firsts; but it’s been bringing me down. I’m at a crossroads in my life with no idea where to go or what to do with it, I’m almost certain that I don’t really want to be in Jakarta anymore–for now. Of course I’m not ruling out the not ever coming back here but I’m getting really restless. Of course this could just be the frustrated me talking because I’ve had a rough 2 weeks. But if you’re in a place where you’re not growing as an individual, I think you should take things into consideration. Do you want to stay and make things different or do you have another choice of where to go? Right now I have a few choices, go back home to the Philippines which is the most probable choice, or work in cities I would love to live in (Singapore, Melbourne/Perth, Seoul, anywhere in Italy, or with relatives in the States). All it takes is push really. Unfortunately right now I do not have it yet. I’m still finding myself, what I want, attempting to save some money in the process so I can fully determine where I really want to go and what I really want to do and actually have the resources (read: money) to obtain it.

I didn’t really imagine being in your 20s would take such emotional energy to make the right decisions but that’s seriously how I feel right now. I’m generally a positive and happy-go-lucky person but along the way some things change and your perspective shifts, it’s inevitable.