I wish I had a solid hobby that I can be proud of. I think I’ve taken up almost all the cliche ones but none of them really stuck because of my lack of dedication and willpower. I think it comes with being a Gemini and getting easily bored with things and the constant search for something new. I sing, I play guitar and have been playing ever since I was 11 but I’ve never really advanced. There was a point in my life where I could play these awesome riffs and chords but due to lack of practice I became all rusty again. I think I’ve taken a lot of musical lessons to realize that I’m not even half good at them. I’ve taken up drums, keyboard, I read musical notes but that’s all there is to it. I then discovered Photoshop and loved it, I was into webdesign and coding at one point then suddenly one day I looked at all the codes and it gave me a headache. Even though I loved it, I thought it wasn’t worth it due to all the frustration.
Then there was the lomography hype, I got myself an ActionSampler with the hopes of pursuing a hobby in the analog world but in the end I figured it was a hobby which needed cultivation and commitment, not to mention it burnt holes in my pockets so that kind of took a backseat too. I guess I’m at this point in my life where I’m looking for something that I can really stick my mind to, be it a hobby or a relationship or just something which makes me happy. When I get into these things I always tend to doubt myself because I subconsciously compare myself with the better ones and then my insecurity gets the best of me.
The problem with me is, I wanna be good at everything. Obviously I know that’ s not possible, if I can’t stick to one thing how am I supposed to be good at everything else right? Perseverance ultimately leads to perfection, and perseverance hasn’t always been my strongest suit (something I definitely need to improve). I wish one day I can find something I can be extremely proud of for putting my heart and soul into, and get into it full time.