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The Big Fat Honesty Post

I was browsing through my old emo livejournal posts and look what I found! A big fat honesty post in which with all honesty I’m going to repost it because honestly, the ones I’m going to post are still honestly the same. This was dated back in November 14, 2007 and I just realized not much has changed around me, but at the same time, things definitely have.

Me: I’ve been feeling so empty nowadays. I don’t have inspiration anymore. As much as I want to shout out how I feel, I can’t! I’m not usually the kind of person to bottle up feelings and such, but this time I’ve really felt that I’ve changed. I can’t seem to express what I feel in words anymore, I can’t tell the whole world what I seem to be feeling. I need to go out there and find myself. What I really want in life, where I want to go and what I want to do.

Family: They’ve been having their share of rough moments these past 2 years but I know they can NEVER live without each other. I have this unbelievable closeness with my parents. Something I don’t want to exchange for anything. I greatly respect them and if anything happens otherwise (OH COME ON–GOD FORBID), I’m really going to break into pieces.

Friends: I have the bestest awesomest of friends, we just can’t all be together at the same time anymore. There’s this big issue of backstabbing and talking behind each others backs (and mostly silent misunderstanding). It’s unhealthy and the more we’re separated, the more we drift from each other. You can’t blame them really. Some of us are already in uni while some are still in high school. We also hang out with different people now, we have our own COFs. Everybody doesn’t study in the same school anymore. I love my friends, I just don’t love it when we’re all in the same room.. there’s playing favorite and weird vibes and eyes which stare and lots of judgment. We’ve grown up and changed, while some haven’t at all. Some are still the same, which is creating problems because they’re stuck in their own little world, not moving with time.

Love: As much as I want to say I’ve given up on this, where do I stand in that and what’s my right? I still have a long way to go. I have choices to make and feelings to feel, it’s hard what to prioritize.

Someone: I should just be happy with the way things are. Period. Wash, soap, rinse, dry and repeat.

Education: This isn’t the first time I’ve said this but tertiary education is not for everyone. I’m EXTREMELY blessed and fortunate to be where I am now and I’m happy. I might sound condescending but I don’t know (YES YOU DO KNOW!), I should just take what is given to me. – I was stumped with work that time, so I felt this way. Right now, at times I still get it, but I’m far better off.

Reading through this and commenting on some points, I can totally feel the fat of honesty oozing from it and some don’t feel pretty and dandy. But hey, it be the truth, and the truth does hurt and while everything I say is mostly cliche (it rhymes!), the truth will definitely set you free. Therefore, I vote this post as EMO-post of the year, it don’t get any better than this.

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