I just watched the latest 90210 yesterday (srsly, the only reason why I still watch that show is coz of Matt Lanter–who am I kidding? I love shallow shows) and it was the episode when the girls went away for a yoga retreat. There was a scene where they were all in the sauna where they poured out all their problems and fears.

When Naomi (played by AnnaLynne McCord) poured out her story about the rape incident the guru told her to choose between the two wolves inside of her. One wolf was good and full of joy and love the other one was bad and basically had all the negative qualities. So the question was, which wolf was going to win? The answer was fairly simple, but it wasn’t something I expected. The writer of this episode definitely hit a nerve with this one. The yoga guru said, “The one you feed.”

I’m going on a deep note here because I need to get this out that’s why here I am at 2 in the morning typing away from my phone under the covers. Something about that line really made me think. Have I been feeding the bad wolves that’s inside of me? Why do I seem to have many fears and negative thoughts? I get so easily worried about a lot of things and I haven’t even given them a chance to happen yet. I’ve developed a bad habit of thinking about worse case scenarios before there even is a scenario to begin with. I used to think that when they say people change, it wouldn’t happen to me. It clearly has, and I’m working on it, I really am.

Felt the need to get this out before it clogs up in my brain drafts and the difference between brain drafts and blog drafts, there’s a lesser chance of brain drafts to be published because my mind forgets them so easily.