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August Don’t Cry

This has been sitting in my drafts folder for about 3 weeks so I decided to suck it up and finally finish this entry. August surprised me in more ways than one. There was quite a lot going on and I’m happy to say that I’ve kept up with most of last month’s happenings with a sane mind, and a positive outlook (most days). The contrast between August 2015 and August 2016 is a stark one but I have noticed that August often provides me with a somewhat renewed outlook and a good head-start for the closing months of the year.

In retrospect, I drank a lot in August (and suffered its wrath). The beginning of the month started with a bar opening’s private party where alcohol consumption was almost unlimited, few days after that I flew to Manila for 5 days and drank every single night during that trip, then every single weekend of the month whether just spending the night at a friend’s watching football matches or even a bit more partying, not to mention random weeknights after work when friends were up for a nightcap–there’s is usually alcohol involved. I ended August by spending the last weekend out of town to a nice resort with my sister and friends and even though I felt like I didn’t drink much at the time.. I think all the alcohol that month caught up with me and upon coming back home I was out sick for a good 4 days, high fever and all. It felt like shit. That was last week and until now I can say I haven’t fully recovered yet. So I’m on an alcohol ban again for a couple of months or until I keep it up. Last year I was alcohol-free for 6 months, it should be much easier this time.

2016 has been good to me but I have to admit I am still struggling with some issues that I feel like I’m not making progress with at all. I always have these mental checks during the last two quarters of the year on how much progress I’ve made, mostly where I am mentally and emotionally. I might be a little hard on myself when I say I’m not making any progress but this is a way for me to keep pushing myself, I guess? Honestly I’m not even sure anymore. I am just pushing through and trying to enjoy life as it is, and be always grateful for what I have. I feel like even though you’re being dealt with lots of demons in your head, if you practice being grateful each day it helps with keeping those demons at bay.

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