Otherworldly

This white box where I’m supposed to write a post has been empty for quite some time now. After a few months, I decided to log in again today. It’s always that vicious cycle of wanting to write and failing to do it. Laziness taking over, the confusion of what to say that starts to play with my head, and a whole lot of other excuses always overpower the fact that I want to keep this blog and I do not want to stop writing.

Together with singing and guitar, personal writing is something that has been shelved this year. We’ve reached July already and time is a vehicle that just keeps on going. The next thing you know you’re 26 and life isn’t getting any slower. A year older and none the wiser, or so I’d like to think.

These past few months have been quite a roller coaster of emotions, to put it simply. My birthday month was filled with happiness, and excitement, and being loved by all the right people, the people I hold dearest to my heart as they were with me physically and emotionally for my birthday. Once that euphoria of a great week and a half was over, I was back to my normal life without anything major to look forward to. No trips, no plans, just life waiting to be lived. Such a contrast from last year where I was out of the country almost once every quarter.

Re-reading the paragraph above, I sort of realized how self-consumed I was, and probably still am. As much as these feelings start to consume me I always try to stop and take a step back, and realize this is where I am. This is what needs to be lived. Plans will unfold and excitement will happen in its time.

Just a few days ago I lost a friend who was/is dear to my heart. It’s been quite hard to take in. You never know what hit you until a friend passes away and leaves questions that need to be answered. Dale was always such a great friend to me from day one when we were the twitter legacy (or as I’d like to think so) 6 or 7 years ago, up to when we met a few years ago and continue to communicate without fail. I didn’t know that last January would be the last time I was ever gonna party with him, let alone see him. Everything he has done for me, all the memories we shared whether on or offline will always be dear to my heart. Life hasn’t stopped, but whenever Dale comes to mind I feel a bit of a painful tug inside and tears start to fall. It’s been a bit easier now than a few days ago but I can’t even begin to imagine what his family and dearest friends have to go through. I hope he’s in an awesome place and having the grandest of time. I miss him.

Having said that, life is precious. It may shit on you and give you the worst of the worst but life wouldn’t be life without all of that. We all want to strive for perfection, but sometimes settling isn’t half as bad as how others make it out to be. I guess now that I’m 26 insight keeps growing, and the older you get the more you are exposed to the bitterness of life. I’m just here, powering through all of it. The good, the bad, the everything. As I should be.

I go on a lot of blogging absences, mostly unannounced. The problem with long hiatuses is that when you try to get back on track it’s difficult because you don’t know where to start or how to oil the machine. I barely have readership anymore so I rely on the fact that I am now blogging for myself. I guess I blame all the other micro-platforms for making me lose my ability in full-time blogging. The need to construct sentences and paragraphs are turning out to be quite tedious.

My life is starting to take a backseat. I’m now back to weekends at home after constant partying since the end of last year. It’s a good change of pace, and I feel like my old self again. Listening to more music, watching more shows and movies, communicating with more people again.. but also leaves room for more thoughts that aren’t always pleasant. The perks of music blasting and alcohol constantly pumping your veins is its ability to be able to drown out unwanted feelings and thoughts.

On a lighter note, I’ve been participating in this Instagram project called #100HappyDays. It’s pretty self-explanatory, you find something that makes you happy every day for 100 days and post a corresponding photo. It’s a good exercise to appreciate the little things, because sometimes when we look for happiness we tend to look for the bigger picture, the WOW factor when sometimes it’s just as small as your local Starbucks finally getting your name right. So here’s my special tag for this series: #happyxjuicers and I’m currently on Day 43. Almost halfway there!

Here I am on my phone while waiting for all the backup restoration to be done.

I am back! The blog blacked out for the most part of the month because we were getting hacked here and there. And because—two sentence construction errors later—I have the best host ever, the process of putting everything back to its rightful place was near flawless.

Lots of email exchange and a new webhost provider later, here is a fresh Otherworldly. Hope you like it!