Fuckin’ hell, it’s already September. Can you believe?! I’ve come to the point where I don’t know what to write about anymore, that even my other blog is currently enjoying an annual drought. Usually I don’t let more than 6 months pass without publishing an entry but it just couldn’t be help. Was I that busy this year? I certainly still had time to watch Terrace House and a bunch of Korean dramas, so I can’t really say that I was too busy to write in here. I guess the need to formulate a proper blog post kind of lost its charm on me and updates result into bite-sized micro social media posts in the form of Instagram stories or Twitter updates. I don’t even post that much on Facebook anymore.
Nowadays I feel like I’m chasing something with no definite destination. Is this how 30s feel like? Isn’t one supposed to have things figured out by now? 20s was a long, winding road full of reckless pursuits and bad decisions that I guess I’m trying to make up one way or another? I know nothing’s perfect, but is it wrong to hope for things to start falling into place in this third decade? Or am I overthinking everything again like I always do? Too many questions, hardly any answers. That’s my life.
To be honest, I didn’t think I was going to survive. Yes, it is as dramatic as it looks and I am actually very serious about it. But somehow life keeps surprising me and letting me know that it’s actually on my side, despite the many instances where I feel like it never is; and that’s good enough for me.
I will try not to think about this too much because then it will be too hard to narrow down. I have been blessed with a fruitful life and choosing the top 5 moments will be a challenge. I’ll try to make this as concise as I can as well. In no particular order..
1) Disneyland Hong Kong in 2006 (Disneyland, period!). Went there just a few months after it opened because just as all 90s kids are I am a complete Disney geek. We stayed at one of the Disney hotels and I begged my mom to take the Disney train with me from the city (everyone else took a cab) and we walked ALL the way from the train station to the hotel (didn’t take the shuttle, nothing). Needless to say I started bawling my eyes out when I reached the place. I had this weird moment where I just broke down because of happiness. I can’t wait to visit Disney America, Europe and Japan, no matter how old I am!
2) Watching my two favorite groups in the whole wide universe live in concert, 2PM and Incubus. Not at the same time, but this counts as one moment. I watched Incubus in 2008 and 2PM twice in 2011. I also had crying moments where I just couldn’t believe it all. Funny. A rock band and a K-pop group could do that to me.
3) Traveling alone by airplane for the first time at 10 years old. I was set to spend summer in the Philippines in 1998 so my mom sent me off for one of those Unaccompanied Minors program with Singapore Airlines. It was so exciting for me because every take-off and landing they would move me to first class and during transit in Singapore I was sent to this special game room for kids that are on the program and there was a mini arcade, a library.. I didn’t know such a place could exist in an airport.
4) Graduating in Australia. Even though I didn’t study there, but flying to Perth to graduate in the mothership university was surreal enough for me. It made me experience the Australian university life for a bit and share the stage with like thousands of graduates I never met once in my life. Pretty awesome.
5) This is a bit of a sensitive issue, but will always count. When my mom was having her mastectomy in Singapore I couldn’t go because I had tests in uni (I think either midterms or finals I forgot–like I said I choose to blur out a lot of those moments) and I think my parents didn’t really want me to go so I stayed back in Jakarta. During that day my two best friends, Noemi and Chino, were with me the whole day. Noemi went to church with me even though it was a Tuesday (I still remember) and after that we had lunch with Chino and they were just.. THERE for me and spent the whole day being at my side. They didn’t try to cheer me up, or make me sad, it was a normal hang out that didn’t feel loaded or pressured in any way even though I was anxious as fuck as to how my mom’s surgery would go. They may not know this and probably don’t realize it but I will ALWAYS remember that day as realizing how much of true friends they really are to me. So if any of them are reading this, thank you guys, I love you and that day was a gift to me. Thank you for being there.
I’m missing my Jakarta friends more than usual since there have been a few events here and there that for the first time since I’ve gone home, I was very sad to be missing. Apparently July 7 was quite the happening Saturday for a lot of people. My high school batch a.k.a the people I went to school with almost my whole life in Jakarta decided to have a huge reunion. The last time we had a reunion was in 2010, and not only was that one of the first major ones, I was also one of the main planners of the event. I’ve yet to see photos on Facebook but once I do I’m gonna be missing my old friends more than ever. I’m glad they had a blast and everyone got to catch up with each other.
One of my ever dearest friends, Caroline, also celebrated her birthday on Saturday. We always have these special dinners and my special dinners are never the same without my Uni friends. I hope she had a blast and I wish her the very best and hoping I see “my peas” soon for another trip before the end of the year.
On a much better note, my bestest friend in the whole wide world (and more), is/are coming to visit me next month!!!! I cannot wait to show her my life and everything Cebu has to offer. I miss her dearly. I feel like these past two years we haven’t really done so much with her being gone last year and me being gone this year. But one thing is always certain is that no matter how rarely or often we talk, whatever we do or don’t, bestest friends for life.. I can always count on that.
Phew, getting all sentimental here!
I shouldnt be so surprised anymore when I catch up with old friends (hookups/whatnot) I havent seen in a long time and they tell me theyre married. This mindset of mine should be fixed that Im not in high school anymore, Im not even in uni anymore. Im so close to entering the mid-20s stage and everyone around me is gradually tying the knot (and having kids). Not only friends but even the cousins I grew up with are building their own families and sometimes I ask myself where it leaves me, am I really that idle? Then again, if Im happy with the way I live my life then it shouldnt be a problem.
Speaking of weddings, one of my good friends from high school is getting married this weekend. Theyre both only 21. Im really happy they found each other but at the same time I cant help but think about how young they are. Ever since I graduated a year ago Ive already attended 2 weddings of uni friends and classmates but they were different because 1st wedding, the bride was already pregnant and the 2nd wedding, I didnt know she was entering her late 20s already (I thought we were the same age since we were in some classes together).
My point is, my judgements cant really be justified unless I get into it myself or feel it firsthand. The time will come, eventually.