This week has been particularly weird, in an emotional sense. I don’t know if it’s the mix of quitting rice for the 2nd week and going towards a low-carb high-fat diet that’s messing with my system, happenings that either piss me off, or make me want to cry. These are the usual highs and lows of everyday and worklife and (the lack of) adulting that’s always messing with me. So how do I deal?
I compiled a list of things that I usually do or indulge in so that I don’t fall into the deep well of emotional negativity, a.k.a the O.A. life, or as how our close-minded relatives refer to bouts of unwarranted sadness.
- Playing SimCity Buildit. Secret’s out, I’ve been playing this game since late 2014 and have not stopped since. There’s something about mindlessly building a city, fulfilling city needs, and playing a virtual God that really made me commit to this one. With the introduction of groups and social trading (of goods) I’ve also become part of a small community of players that I talk to each day.
- The good old K-drama. In addition to being a feast on the eyes, it just takes you to a good place. It’s another realm of first world goodness mixed with familiar values that just draws you in. This year alone I’ve gone through 4 of them. It’s all in my life log.
- Window shopping online, clicking “add to cart” on all my wants with the satisfaction of the act of being a consumeristic hoe, then closing the whole window and never looking back. Sometimes I do succumb to the Buy Now button but still call it a victory because I could have done worse (I KNOW THIS IS THE WORST LOGIC OK). Thanks but no thanks, Glossier.
- My dog Koko contributes to a huge part of a stress-free life. I don’t know what I’d do without her quirks and smarts that I still find so amusing a year into her arrival to our household.
- Filling up my bullet journal in the attempts to make my life seem so adult and organized.
- Buying things spontaneously when I’m at the mall. I hate this, but it’s in this list.
- Mango Cheese Snow in Snow Shack never fails to lift up my spirits.
- Terrace House that made me buy a VPN subscription ffs so I could keep up with episodes in Japan. Also I’ve been hanging out a lot in the Terrace House subreddit it might be a little unhealthy.
- Dreaming about upcoming travels that have been planned, and the euphoria I feel when my money goes to something that’s totally millenial—travel.
- Reading astrology-related things, the best entertainment value there is.
As much as I’d love to just write and write about things that make me happy, I’ve decided to keeping it to a minimum of a recent 10 so that next time I find more weird things that satisfy my vibes channel. I didn’t even mention cliche ones like, going to the beach, hanging out with [insert name here], etc etc. What’s the point of me writing this when it’s just things the entire population likes to do?
In July of 2015 I made the decision to finally have my tonsils out. I remember it was an emotionally tough time but I figured it was for the best. Throughout that year I had been severely hit with bouts of tonsilitis that were even more frequent than usual (I used to get it at least once every 2 months), and I realized it didn’t feel right anymore. I may have been used to getting it, but never those that limited my day to day activities or even be admitted to the hospital!
To cut the story short, here I am 2 years later, tonsil free and couldn’t have been more thankful and relieved that I made that decision.
I still get the remnants of mental reflex though. Whenever I eat or drink something sweet I always try to feel my tonsils in case they flare up or swell. I don’t think I’ll truly ever get over that. Something 27 years of habitual actions can never fix.
To this day it is one of the best possible decisions I have ever made in my life. No more tonsillitis, no more flared up throat. The post-op pain that lasted for nearly a month was worth a lifetime of no more agony, I can say. Haha. Happy 2 years to my free throat!
I’m not sure what’s causing this inner terror that’s bothering me right now but I don’t like it at all. It’s making me lose my subconsciousness and depriving me of being grateful for the little things, which I always try and focus on daily for my mental health. I can’t even enjoy a single K-drama without revisits of this annoying mental clutch.
I’ve been so focused on my new job and the unknowingly jarring difference of now getting into the hang of an office life vs the remote life that I lived for a year and a half. That was good for my mental and professional reset after having been in a toxic environment for a while, before the lone wolf life took a toll on me again. This time however, the demons in my head seem to be self-inflicting and I’m not a big fan. I’m always beating myself up for losing control of my and letting anxiety win again. By writing this I hope I at least feel a little better.
A part of me wants to just stay home and wallow in all of the negativity but the other side of me is also urging me to get my ass up and recharge with my friends (update: I went out and saw friends! I’m so glad I did). I haven’t really had a proper hangout or seen my friends since my birthday season. My social life has sort of taken a backseat and I think it may be one of the attributes to feeling this way. I don’t know maaan, maybe this is PMS, but that’s also questionable because my PCOS is acting up again.
As I read what I wrote the morning after, I now admittedly feel better. I went out to dinner with my girlfriends, I upped my magnesium dosage last night before I went to bed, and I didn’t watch a K-drama after 12 midnight because I love myself. I realize it’s always going to be about self-love. But there are times when things get shitty and when they do, they really do. I’m happy I got to recharge last night because honestly, that was all I needed. The cycle may start again, but I will work on myself again. The seas may not be always be calm, but you can always choose to get through the waves to cross the other side.
I may not blog as often, but I always make sure to have a blog up at the time of my birthday, whether a reflection, a recap, or just something to remember. No excuses!
- My birthday weekend was jampacked to say the least because I was in Manila for one of my best friend’s wedding on Saturday the 20th, and my birthday was on the 21st. That meant friends from Jakarta flew home to Manila. Double happies.
- I didn’t really have anything planned in terms of a celebration and just went with the waves. I had so much fun because I didn’t expect anything. I always have to remember that.
- My birthday was a celebration in itself because a good friend whom I met through twitter years ago got me tickets to ABS-CBN’s noontime show ASAP but even grander as it was Star Magic’s 25th Anniversary! Needless to say, I saw most of the local celebrities. Giddy and totally fangirl-ed!
- The weekend felt long and that was a great feeling because it meant I could treasure time with friends but at the same time when it was over it felt too short. Nevertheless whatever time we can get when we’re complete is a blessing in itself.
- Do I feel any different turning a year older? Definitely not. Whoever said that age is just a number needs to get a Pulitzer Award for phrases, if there was any.
- It’s my last year as a 20-something! I don’t feel any different. Maybe 30 finally will? We’ll have to see next year.
There it is, short and sweet. What will my 29th year bring in store for me? Will things be different next year or more or less the same? This year started on a good note with a new and a much more disciplined job which meant a bigger professional responsibility. I promise to learn and to always try my best to be happy, regardless of how old I am.
I finally, finally, finally finished Terrace House: Boys & Girls in the City. I say finally because I didn’t choose the most favorable time to binge-watch it, with all the travel and wedding (and birthday, probs), and work-related things I had to attend to. But I just. Could not. Stop. I spent a good amount of weekend time for it and the minute I got home from work, it would be the first thing I do. This resulted to finishing all 46 episodes in a span of 10 days. That may not seem like binge-watching but I HAD SO MUCH TO DO AND WORK IN BETWEEN ALDFJA;SDLJFA;F. ANYWAY!
(Fair warning: this post may contain spoilers for those who have not watched and are planning to.)
A little side note: I started with Aloha State when it first came out because it was more “real-time” and shorter. This made me develop a softer spot for the Aloha State cast. I feel like if I watched B&GITC first, Aloha State cast wouldn’t matter as much to me.
Inspired by this entry, I decided to make one of my own. My background based on this ranking is purely based on personal preference and entertainment value from being on the show and possibly who I see myself being friends or close with. Of course, I will provide a little insight into my choices but that’s pretty much it. Feel free to disagree.