Otherworldly

I mentioned in my previous blog post that it’s been a little bit challenging trying to go back to my old life. It’s weird because it’s not like I’m getting off from a long period of anything; but the changes I made during that period, whether long or short, I felt were for the better and for something really substantial. I didn’t imagine myself to be back where I started so abruptly. I admit it’s been a little frustrating because it’s making me crawl out of my previous comfort zone and look for new things to be interested in, and that itself is a journey that I’m just starting with.

I’m beginning to find new things that inspire me, or going back to the old habits that I’m totally seeing in a different light. Either way, I’m attempting to list them out here in this blog. We never know, there may be a part ii for this.

Yoga

Yoga has always been my refuge, whether I’m feeling shitty or absolutely elated. It helps me regain my focus back and utilize that 1.5 hours in a day to truly get away and remove myself from whatever I’m going through. It helps me stay grounded, be in the moment, not think about the past or the present or any worries that are in my head, and gets rid of the bad juju and start from scratch. I will forever be grateful that I decided to take that one yoga class 2 years ago.

Pretty blogs and other peoples’ life stories.

I’ve been doing a good amount of blog-hopping (that word is so 2006!) and reading different kinds of blogs, about how other people live their life, or how they choose to portray it through their writing. There’s also great insight and advice on how to deal with situations, setbacks, motivation and even happiness in itself. Everything I’ve come across has been just so positive and introspecting and I really like that positivity is such a major drive with blogging in this “era”. I admit I am a self-absorbed blogger, so genuinely reading about others gives me such a refreshing take on life and seeing it through other people’s eyes.

Writing

This whole writing thing, especially for my blog, is proving to be such a helpful form of escapism. I realized that I haven’t been this motivated to blog or write for a long time now. I am actually motivated to produce something, and see words come to life. I don’t know how long this is going to last, but right now I am making the most of it.

The drive to learn.

The other night I was helping my dad out with an online questionnaire that required analytical and self-evaluation skills and it made me realize something about myself. I should never stop learning. There are many factors that make you forget, like if you’re doing so well in something it makes you feel like you have nothing left to learn anymore but the truth is, learning should never stop. That realization hit me so hard to the point where I kind of want to go back to school. Getting an MBA has always been part of my life plans but since it’s not something that I can acommodate right now financially, I’m looking into getting short courses for things that interest me. We’ll see, and hope that it turns out well.

Having something to look forward to and making things happen.

This has always been the reason for my existence. It fuels me and drives me and I recently learned that it doesn’t just happen by itself and you have to do something about it. At one point I was so disraught because I hated waking up knowing I had nothing to look forward to anymore. The beginning of the year was filled with so many plans and so many events then suddenly, bam, emptiness. Who or what is to blame? Absolutely no one. I then decided to make things happen in order to have something to look forward to. I (keyword: tried to) make mundane things seem exciting, even if it took a lot of effort. I booked a flight to see my friends for a long weekend and put off buying that pretty lipstick so that my excitement doesn’t wane. We all gotta start somewhere, right?

I’m trying to work out a way where I inject more variety into this list but at this point I don’t want to be too ambitious yet. A good challenge should be something that inspires me, but I still have an ounce of fear that’s getting in the way. A good list of goals is something I should be trying to include as well, but like I always say, goals scare the beejeezus out of me because I feel like I’m always setting myself up for failure.. but that’s another different blog post altogether.

I’ve been blogging since I knew how to use the internet, but I have never thought of myself as a good writer, or good blogger, at the very least. My sister told me last week that I write like a kid, and I actually agreed without harboring ill-feelings. I’m not one to have a wide knowledge of words that I can mix and match to my mind’s content. Sometimes I envy those who are so witty on paper (or on screen) and can translate feelings and emotions into another level of feelings and emotions just by writing. This is why I’m mostly a blog lurker. I don’t usually comment but I ALWAYS read, especially the good ones.

You’ve probably noticed my blogging frequency has increased in the past month. Some say it takes a shitty situation to go back to writing. For me, writing has always been a therapeutic medium where I can express myself (as if I don’t express myself enough) or mask whatever bad thing that’s going on in my head and sugarcoat it so that it doesn’t seem so bad after all. I don’t know if that’s supposed to be a good or bad thing? Either way, it helps.

Going back to my “old life” hasn’t been the smoothest transition like I thought it would be. I had always imagined to be sliding back into my usual routine like riding a bike and coasting to wherever life takes me. It’s proving to be more challenging than I thought and that has bothered me more than I allow it to.. so here I am writing my thoughts away because it’s the only routine that will never lose its familiarity to me.