When it comes to love and all that stuff, I’ve never been good at “feelings”. I give out advice like I’m so pro at it, but the truth is I can’t communicate it well enough when it comes to myself. It happens to a lot of people and unfortunately I am one of them. So when these “feelings” come and enter my life, I’m at a loss. For words, for emotions, my mind and heart are in knots and I overanalyze, I overthink, and in the end it complicates things not only for myself but for everyone I communicate these “feelings” to. Sometimes I’m too hard on myself.. that I end up losing everything in the end. That’s probably what’s happening right now but other factors are also to blame. Like pride. Every one doesn’t want to lose their pride but there’s something in me that hurts, even when I’m just about to communicate with it, tell myself that it’s okay to feel things, it’s okay when these things happen. But pride overrides itself.
I’m such a Gemini. Plus a Taurus. I was born in the middle of both signs and since I can point nothing else accountable for the way my feelings operate I blame my horoscope. It’s simpler that way right? I may be a simple girl on the outside, but there is nothing simple about the way my mind operates. I have thirst for explanation and need for detail. I’m probably not making sense right now because I’m letting my mind do all the work in this entry. Ever since I got back from the Philippines my mind’s been in utter shambles, here and there. The thing I’m probably most thankful when it comes to these feelings is the fact that I can smile for no reason at least once a day. You have to find joy in every situation. This is mine.