I feel like slapping myself for getting another thought of creating another blog just for my “personal logs”. As if this blog wasn’t personal enough and AS IF I DON’T HAVE TOO MANY BLOGS ALREADY! Sometimes I make myself laugh and I drive myself crazy for all the unnecessary reasons. Too much anxiety, too many impulse buys, crazy fangirling, so many emotions, fickleness, hypochondriac tendencies. The list just goes on. I just realized I haven’t been consistently logging on Day One as well. My last entry was about my PCOS diagnosis. Nope, I have not started pills yet because I’m scared as fuck about mood swings and getting depressed and gaining a shitload more weight so I feel like I have to go back to the doctor again. If I don’t get my period within a month again then FINE I will start taking it. This is such a contrast to my previous post about all things pretty and makeup. Something I have to control as well. I’ve been hoarding cosmetics the past few months …

Yup, it’s another one of those asofterworld posts. You would know how much I love asofterworld if you also follow me on tumblr. The first two frames start out normal, then bam, there’s a witty and contradicting catchphrase in the last frame to conclude it. But anyway, that’s beside the point. This week has been lackluster but after hump day Wednesday things started looking up. The good thing coming out of this is I’m starting to write on my blog more often now! Although I’m not too proud that it has been brought on by the onslaught of not-so-pretty events that are happening to me. Hence, the strip above. I’m probably being my selfish self again being all, “It’s me, me this, me that..” then I have this momentary reality check and realize that when I look around I’m not the only who feels shitty, so I take that into consideration and get on with life. It’s as simple as that. Now that I’m feeling all positive I might abandon this blog again.. hope not!

I’m my own worst critic. I think of the worst in a lot of situations. Many things in my life have made me think that way but it’s nice to know I still have a lot of positivity in me, it seems. But let’s focus on the negative first. Someone told me before how he wondered how I never get fazed by the worst of things.. truth is, he just doesn’t know what really goes on in my head. It’s a freaking warzone. I like to think the choices I make result to a good return of “equal opportunity”. I learn a lot of things about myself and other people along the way but what frustrates me the most is that I hardly ever get to see results, or the end game. A lot of the things in my life are open-ended. My feelings take the top spot on that list. Right now I’m in an environment where people don’t get fazed by irrational emotions but the truth is, I do. It’s just me. Now …

My throat started feeling really itchy last Wednesday, and come Thursday it became a full-blown dry cough. I’m still reaping the fruits of the virus until now because I really didn’t give myself rest until Saturday. I was contemplating on going to work on Friday but I knew I had to because I was meeting friends for drinks later that night after work and that itself was a pretty good motivation already. Got home at 4 in the morning on Saturday and that’s when the whole sickness thing took a great toll. I was completely bedridden the whole Saturday up to Sunday afternoon when I decided to get my ass up and spend the rest of the Sunday out with family. It’s Tuesday now and I’m feeling a bit better save for a bit of coughing here and there. Hope this is gone by tomorrow. Lately I’ve been finding myself getting worked up and concerned about what people think about me. Of course as a human being that’s a general trait, why wouldn’t you want …