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Still Wise

Published by Justine

Two days ago (Friday) I had my wisdom tooth taken out. It’s been bothering me for years. After a few days and a few painkillers it would just go away but last few weeks have been hell. My tonsils and gums would take turns in swelling so I finally gave in and went to the dentist. I’ve been having trouble eating and swallowing and it was killing me. He suggested to pull my left wisdom teeth because they’ve been causing too much pain already and not in the right position.

Friday came and it was freaky. The minute I sat into the dentist chair I held my phone in my hand tweeting every experience I felt to keep my mind off it. When the dentist injected the anaesthesia into my gums I just started shaking uncontrollably. I don’t know if that was one of the effects but I couldn’t stop shaking. He then performed the procedure. Pulling the upper wisdom tooth went by like a breeze because it wasn’t a problem. The lower tooth however, was major. You see, the tooth was stuck beneath my gums so he had to cut my gums open, break my tooth into pieces so it was easy to pull out, then stitch my gums back together. I could see it in my mind how he used the scalpel to cut my gums even though I couldn’t feel it and the grill, oh goodness the GRILL WAS CRAZY it was deafening. An hour later the procedure was done (finally).. he had a hard time pulling it out but good thing it was over. He stitched my gums back with what looked like a black nylon thread.

Because of the anesthesia I couldn’t feel half of my mouth so when I gargled and spit I couldn’t aim the water to the basin! That had to be the funniest part.. I couldn’t help but laugh at myself (at least I provided comic relief for myself). Then the bleeding, and the excessive drooling without me feeling it.. it was hilarious. After the anesthesia wore off that’s when the pain started. The painkillers weren’t doing it for me so I called the dentist crying and he upped the dosage. Friday and yesterday had to be the most painful stage. My left cheek gradually swelled and swelled and even now it’s still big and I look fatter than I already am but at least the pain has subsided a little.

Even though the past 2 days’ pains have been a bitch looking back at it I don’t regret it. I’d rather have immense pain at once than endure pain for a long time. I’m looking forward to 100% recovery soon so I can go back to normalcy.

Adding Salt to the Wound

Published by Justine

I took one of them color quizzes again, and the results surprised me as always. But from the many I’ve tried before.. this has got to be the most accurate as of late. I guess it’s also due to the fact that I haven’t taken any of these lately.

Your Existing Situation
Needs excitement and constant stimulation. Willingly participates in activities that are thrilling and offer adventure.

Your Stress Sources – since I don’t have a relationship I’m viewing this as my relationship with the people around me and maybe the world in general
“Unhappy in her current situation or relationship, but is unwilling to change things due to her need for acceptance and belonging. Refuses to be seen as weak and although she is resistant to give too much to the relationship, she stays committed in order to feel the attachment. The situation depresses and irritates him, causing restlessness and impatience. She is seeking some sort of escape from the situation either physically or mentally, which affects her ability to concentrate.”

Your Restrained Characteristics
“Demanding and picky in her relationships, but careful not to bring out conflict or disagreements and this may decrease her chances of achieving her goals and ideas.”

Is bothered when her needs and desires are misunderstood and she feels there is no one to turn to or rely on. Her self-centered attitude can cause her to be easily offended.

“Willing to become emotionally involved, but is demanding and picky when choosing a partner. Is careful not to bring out conflict or disagreements as this may decrease her chances of achieving her goals and ideas.”

Feels as if too many walls and obstacles are standing in her way and that she is being forced to make compromises. she needs to put her own needs on hold for the time being.

Your Desired Objective
“Searching for a life free of problems, stress, and drama. Wishes to find security and peace, so that she may relax.”

Your Actual Problem
Feeling anxious and restless frustration toward current situation or unfulfilled emotional requirements are causing stress. Tries to escape into a conflict free environment where she feels a sense of security and can relax and recover.

There have been some things that I’ve been trying to figure out which involve big steps (in life) on my part but I still haven’t made a decision. Being vague about it also seems like I’m running away but truth is I just don’t know how to decide! I’m always saying I hope this I hope that but truth is I just want to make my mind already, I’m just waiting for some unknown force that will influence me to make that big decision. Influence, will you come faster? Hmm, who am I kidding.

Usual Setup

Published by Justine

It was quite unfortunate that I didn’t have internet at home for a month. I had to rely on office internet to catch up on news and everything, and thanks to my phone I could still be on top of my social networking accounts without having to feel like I fell down a black hole. The bad thing about this internet at home is that the access point signal doesn’t reach my room because it’s at the end of the house, so I do my internet stuff in my sister’s room coz it’s the nearest and she’s got this humongous table and a comfortable chair.. and I don’t worry about having to lose sleep because I can limit myself with internet usage.

My setup as of last night. Candies and gum belongs to my sister, tumblr on the screen, iPod plugged and phone on standby. The table is really super big, but I couldn’t capture that.

I Don’t Even..

Published by Justine

How do weekends fly by too fast? It feels like it was just Friday and I was counting by the minutes until the weekend started and now I’m typing this at 6 in the morning on Monday all woozy from sleep. I seriously need time to slow down more, sometimes work weeks even go by like breeze and all this time speeding is freaking me out a little.

Time Woes

Published by Justine

If I could only take a year or even half a year off just to wind down and figure out what I want in life, I would. But I’m Asian and things don’t work out that way. I miss being able to hang out with friends and you don’t have to be aware of time or plan crazily like, “Oh I have work” or “I don’t get out until (insert late time here)”. Times when, “let’s go out” and “be there in an hour” that kind of stuff doesn’t apply anymore.

Especially when we were in uni we had so much time to kill in between classes ar after classes it would be so easy to just keep staying together. I miss that. I think I need to live in another city where time isn’t being such a bitch because you have to think of traffic and the amount of time it gets you from point A to point B. Everything has to be thought out and considered from the other party’s point. I’m totally blabbing right now because I too am stuck in traffic with phone in hand typing this blog post.

A working Jakartan spends about 2-4 hours a day in the car just stuck in traffic. That time could be spent on a movie, or a meal with friends. Time is so precious and it’s even more crazier coz it seems like the pace its going right now is crazy fast, hard to keep up.